This is the happiest I have ever been. Eyes glazed, hands clasped, my knees hugging the sluggish beat of my chest. I sit, in the core of it all. It was as if the walls were singing, parting their lips with each crack, their skittish ways like a melody, as the minty green paint crumbles and dances to the sound of its own symphony. I was in total ecstasy. What a beautiful epiphany, to be the God of your own demise. Such authority I’ve been longing to feel for the entirety of my life. Every inch of this place moved for me, fracturing, splintering beneath me. I felt the resplendence of everything, yet I felt nothing. The ceilings weep for me; their gypsum flavored tears greet my cheeks, cherishing every pore, every freckle, and every cell, with such admiration and fluidity, hanging on to the edge of my chin, so hesitant to depart from me. The crackles, drips and rumbles sinuously transform into an angelic hum, morphing into the most beautiful voice I have ever heard, such beauty only expelled from the lips of a woman. Her voice climbs, parallel to the climax of this self induced demolition. Her vocals soar high, erecting the hairs on my skin, the blood in my veins, provoking my burning eyes, I felt her soft hands glide across the back of my neck; her slender fingers caress my scalp to the melody of her own resonance, she entangled herself into my head of hair. I couldn’t resist the will to close my eyes, but I could still see her light through the back of my eye lids. My mind told me her hands were God like, gleaming and pallid. Her narrow fingers traced the dips of my shoulders, her voice still high and celestial, ringing in my ears a harmonious chorus.
This is the end of me.
My body jerked and trembled, fragments lightly beating at my skin, stifled by her touch I hardly felt the pain. I could feel only the electric graze of her finger tips, every ripple and every wave. The house rumbled below me and it crashed down on me.
Out of everything I’ve ever heard,
I’ve ever seen,
or ever felt,
this is by far the happiest I have ever been.
